woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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