Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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