So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
