Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
