i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
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It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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