im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
