i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
