He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
