ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
