yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Randomize
