I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I think I won the penis lottery.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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