idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
