I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Help. Why am I so naked?
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