so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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