hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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