I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I'm really busy with my period
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