I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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