Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
