We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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