Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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