I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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