you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
