Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
third nipple confirmed
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
