he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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