we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
