capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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