all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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