Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
