I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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