He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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