I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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