well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
