I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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