yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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