dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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