What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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