My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
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She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
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im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize