i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
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I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
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It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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