did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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