i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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