Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
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