in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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