i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
