I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
