Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
