We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
