oh god the rape fog is back!
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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