I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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