I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I said "one day" and that day is not today
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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