i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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