Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize