Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
