How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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