This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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