hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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