worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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