I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
