Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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