So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
