wakey wakey hands off snakey
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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