How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Operation Purity has been aborted
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
