i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
