I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
