I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
